just new goals I'd like to share for 2011

So people may think that New Years resolutions are pointless...but if you know me, I LOVEEEE setting goals! They give me motivation to get shit done aaaand reminds me of the ownership and agency that I have in my own life. As I write this, I acknowledge my holistic approach to my life in that I am constantly building my overall wellbeing academically, professionally, personally, and socially in conjunction with the growth of my MIND, BODY, and SOUL.

Academics: I am now an MA candidate...which means that all I need to do is do my interviews and WRITE, WRITE, and WRITE! BUT...easier said than done. I will hold myself more accountable to become a Master of Arts in Asian American Studies by cultivating a lifestyle that will nurture productivity. This means calling up folks in the cohort to set times to write my thesis. Being proactive in finding the resources to help me on my way. Also believing in myself that I am a SCHOLAR and owning that shit! With that said, I will at least present a paper at at least ONE conference in 2011 (I hope to present at AAAS conference in 2012). After finishing my thesis and graduating, I would like to take a 2-3 year break from Academia before I start applying for PhD programs. For now I think in the mid-year I should at least do my research on GREs and what the different programs I would be interested in: Sociology, Cultural Anthropology, Cultural Studies/Culture and Theory Studies....we'll see. In the Long Term...I want to become a professor at a university to research of course but to also teach =]

Professionally: It makes sense that I address my professional life after my academic one because they in a way should go hand in hand right? Well, to be honest, for now I only see myself just moving back to Southern California (I miss LA!) I've had my fun in SF, but I feel more than ever compelled to call Southern California my HOME, and thats big for me for those who don't know. But that still doesn't answer the question about my career after grad school. So here it is, I simply will just try my luck in finding a job in any sector FOR NOW. I have prospects in working for the UC or other institutions of higher education OR something in the non-profit sector, BUT I'm open...I'm young and I shouldn't limit myself right? I know it is hard times, so a job is a job and I know that I still have my PhD in the back of my mind as a Long Term goal of mine. ALSO, at the beginning of 2011 I would like to actually take bartending classes...people have told me that I don't need to take them, but I finally have come to the conclusion "why not?" at least I'll pick up new skills NOT having to do with academia, education, activism, and the non-profit sector. Sooo we'll see...maybe this will be another career opportunity for me...it can pay the bills while I get my PhD right?!

Socially: I am 24, and I'm going to be 25 next September! Quarter of a century old!...but hey, I'm still in my youth right? =] Let me just say since college I seriously can say that I LOVE! my life. I have met the most amazing people who I can honestly say are my LIFE LONG FRIENDS. We have had sooo many memories and adventures together from being roommates, drinking buddies, wing mans, road trip partners, etc, and ETC...it has been sooo amazing and it only get better from here right?! In 2011, I hope to still be connected to these friendships (from the Bay, LA, and even SD) even though I know I will be coming back to SoCal (either SD and more so LA). I really do feel my social world and self thrives back down here in SoCal...I love LA. I miss this town and I feel that I can possibly settle down in this wonderful city. When I think about my life from 25 to 35, I would love to have Los Angeles as my setting. I went to college here, met most of my life long friends here, and I just feel that this is it. I know that some folks are planning on going off to other cities in their young adult lives, but I think personally LA and SoCal in general is for me =]. I even hope to do my PhD here in SoCal. So here is to that!

Physical Health and Fitness: As some of you know, I see that my body is my temple. Your body is and should be the most easiest and one of the most important priorities you should tend to. Sleep well, eat well, and DO well. The past few years after college has been the best for me physically. The gym is like my 2nd home (literally...and some of you all know I am sure). I recently had one of my best friends, DJ aka Daniel Joseph @tennashuss, consult me on supplements and it has been very effective in helping me reach my fitness and body goals. YES! I can totally be where I want to be with my body...and this is for no one else, BUT myself...but for sure the attention is always good =] For 2011, I'll be continuing the supplements and my diet of low-mid carbs (whole wheat and brownnnnnnssss!!!) and high protein, yummmy! Like I said in 2008...I hope to reach this soon =]

yes yes...this is still my goal and I'm well on my way...don't hate! ;]

Personally: To keep it short, always with "Loving Kindness" as a student, friend, son, brother, partner (if and when of course), and etc. Live. Love. Laugh. Learn. Grow. =]

Let's go!

Tuesday morning thoughts...

This is it! My last week as a LIA-LEAP intern!

Project is almost done and I got my plans set for my return to the Bay Area.

It's been such a big learning experience for me where I have been challenged to think about where I am at in my life. With meeting so many amazing folks, seeing old friends who are doing great work, to working with a dynamic cohort of interns, to so many firsts...this has been like a little jolt/wake up call for me to really truly think about where I want to be in the next 5-10 years. I know I have been blogging about this for sometime now, so I'll spare you the broken record...but I just want to say this jolt calls for new opportunities and possibilities. A call for a new lens to see the world that I live in.

For my graduation for LEAP...I have to speak for 3-5 minutes...haha this is gonna be interesting.

Anyway...I'll cut this entry short (because I gotta do work!...Lance get off my back! hahaha)

I leave you all with this...

enjoy. ;]

update on life...

So I am currently in LA for the summer doing an internship (thank God/Bathala its paid!) and I have less than a week left in LA! Then I will be heading back up to the Bay for my 2nd and FINAL year as a MA student in Asian American Studies at SF State—wooo almost there. For those curious on my research, my thesis is on 1st generation Filipina single mothers in urban cities (SF/LA) and their everyday agency and practice of resilience. So if y’all know of folks, holla at me. =]

Life so far has been…hmmmm well, continuously in motion in making my own path to where I want to be in life in general. With its ups and downs and joys and tears…post-UCLA life has definitely been a challenging yet growing experience.

Through it all, I feel good and since UCLA and my time with SPEAR (a peer counseling job I had as an undergrad that focused on retention issues of Pin@y students at UCLA) I have been growing, healing, progressing, loving, confident, and compassionate in mind, body, and soul. Healthy mind, body, and soul =]

Hmmm…future aspirations, well haha this has definitely been on my mind (and just because you’re a graduate student does NOT mean you have everything figured out!…trust, talk to me more about this if you want). I love my program at SFSU don’t get me wrong. I am learning so much about our community: its history, issues, and its possibilities through many theoretical frameworks and I feel that the academic and intellectual growth that I have gone through this past year has provided me with more of a critical lens that I feel I will always take with me where ever I go. BUT…with all that said, where do I go from here? What is my application and practice?

So three Options (which does means I don’t have to stick to one…but I am talking in terms of what should i possibly prioritize to work towards)

1) Pursue a Ph.D. in Sociology or Cultural Anthropolgy…and continue research interests on agency and interpersonal interactions (with of course a race, gender, and queer twist to things..because duhh its me!).

2) Pursue a MSW to become a clinical social worker…I seriously think with my work from SPEAR and since I loved and miss this experience I feel that I now understand that one of my strengths is having to facilitate social justice and empowerment on the interpersonal level.

3) Just take a plunge and work somewhere! This internship that I have with LEAP (Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics) in LA. I feel very confident in my skill sets and my experience that I can find myself doing many things from non-profit to corporate (which I am beginning to understand and unlearn my undergraduate understandings of the corporate world….huzzahhh my politics are changing! ;])

All in all, I am sure I’ll figure it all out. Just gotta make shit happen yah know?…hmmm random note, or maybe not, I am really on the verge of getting into bartending. I think I am going to take classes once I get resettled back into the Bay this coming semester. Hayyy Lemme make yo dranks!

Ok…so I am done…

I leave y'all with this video...=]

Sorry for the delay...but I'm back ;]

..did yah miss me? ;] hahah

So the TCSC finally has internet and wireless. Holllaaaaaa! Riichh!

Which mean I can update on this mug rYtE hEre! hahahhah (sorry for the AzN-ness back there)

So I am almost done with my project here at the TCSC--doing curriculum development and lesson planning for their youth project. I really do hope this is contributing to the work that they do. Even though I really value my work and I feel supported by the folks at the center, I can't help but be super critical on my work and how effective it would be to contribute to their overall vision and mission as a pivotal resource in the Tongan/Tongan American community.

This experience has been rewarding yet tedious. Curriculum development is not an easy task, especially if it is for a community different from your own. But, I feel that I will be leaving TCSC with critical points and questions to think about as they expand on the work I have done this past summer.

The PI community is so beautiful and vibrant because of the people who continually work to see it move, progress, and grow and I am so thankful to have worked with such kind and amazing people here at the TCSC.

Other than my work here at the center, overall my LEAP experience has definitely been a challenge in regards to how the program has been throwing questions at me to question "What do I REALLY want to do in life?"...being Pinoy/Asian American/Queer aside. I have told people about the possibility of getting my Ph.D and becoming a professor OR picking up another Masters in Social Work or Family Therapy--to become a counselor or clinical social worker. BUT with this internship I have met soooo many amazing folks in the nonprofit and corporate sectors doing amazing work and I am beginning to look at myself and see that I basically can do many things. I am young, I have many skill sets, I have the education (UCLA and SFSU hayyy!!), and I certainly can have the confidence to talk the talk and walk the walk.

Hmmm lots to think about this last academic year at SFSU. One thing is for sure...I want to make sure my future is secure and stable. I believe I am at a point in my life where I want to have consistency and living out a career that I am comfortable with where it can sustain the kind of life I want to live. Selfish you say? No, the community will always be on my mind...no doubt, but shit I needa take care of myself yah know?!

Anyway...back to work.

I leave you all with a funny little video from Summer Heights High's Ja'mie and her first day at a public school.

AND!

Curriculum Development...work in progress.

HEART—Vision: “How do we want to change the world?”

Communicating the Purpose and Values of the Course

Why should this course exist?

From a policy report done by the Pacific Islander Health Careers Pipeline Program of the Orange County Asian and Pacific Islander Community Alliance, Inc. (OCAPICA) in 2009, there is an achievement gap between PI youth and the rest of the nation where “the one-year dropout rate for PIs (5.7%) in 2006-2007 is higher than that for the general population (4.2%) or their white counterparts in California (2.8%)” (OCAPICA). To explain this number from an education perspective, we may understand the PI community and its youth in respect to the experience of many other immigrant of color communities who confront issues of inequalities within their community and within the classroom—where the narratives, experiences, and needs of the students are not validated and humanized to foster empowerment and self liberation among youth of color. With this wide gap, the PI community and its youth face future problems in having to thrive and sustain themselves as a community. “For minority communities, education has been a central source of empowerment…given the dire socio-economic conditions of PIs, education is viewed as a viable means to transform the status quo” (OCAPICA). By providing PI youth with a critical space using the academic disciplines of Ethnic Studies and Pacific Islander studies, students can then engage themselves in critical issues that affect them and their community, raising their consciousness as subjects in their context, and begin taking actions towards addressing and producing new possibilities of their community—social justice in praxis.

How will this course change the problems in the students’ and your communities, larger society, and in the world?

When approaching the critical problems facing the PI youth, we can compartmentalize the different issues PI youth experience along the lines of class, social support, culture, stereotypes and identity. We can look at the spaces of the personal, local, and global so critical social justice change become a tangible result of the class.

Personal: Students will be able to reflect about themselves and how the critical issues of their community influences their everyday lived experiences. With this self awareness, they may be able to confront and address issues they deal with on a personal level through critical action.

Local: Students will be able to understand the critical issues facing them and their community looking at power dynamics along the lines of race, class, gender, as well as many other spaces of identity politics that shape the lived everyday experiences of PI youth. With this consciousness, they can begin to understand big issues that affect them as a community and how they can critically and proactively engage themselves together in the community to make change.

Global: Students will be able to understand their connection to bigger global issues as they affect their condition in the community. They will be able to connect themselves to the Islands of their heritage to inform their PI/American identity. In having to understand issues of immigration, globalization, and colonialism, student will be able connect the PI narrative to these theoretical concepts and thus move towards acts of social justice on the personal and local levels to further influence the global sphere.

A homage to old school Pinay artists "One Voice" via youtube videos LMAO!

As I take a break from doing work on a monday at Cafe Mak in Ktown...

One Voice///When you think about me (Circa 1998)

Billy Crawford/// When you think about me (cover)....WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!

So I end with this

"...When you sleep at night does RHOMMEL star in your dreams?....and when you daydream does sweet Rhomie stay on your mind? ;] "

....and dare I say, my new pick up lines hah! gotcha!

Back to workin on stuff at Cafe Mak! ughh!

Coming Out and saying it... ;]

So more so on this rant of the media, images, power and politics, and race from my last post (an hour ago!), I would like to come out and say that I am a huge follower of current Asian pop Culture. That's right y'all this Pinoy love him some kpop, anime, boba, and everything from East and Southeast Asia (holla at the Philippines!)

This may seem hella corny and dorky of me, but please believe in the political and much more profound reason and meaning as to why this is so for me. As Asian Americans have been in America for more than 100 years, we are met with the arguments of lack of representation or misrepresentation of Asian Americans/people of color in the media--and how they perpetuate systems of oppression for our communities. Having our own communities buying into the stereotypes that are laid out to them from the 'White male heterosexual...etc" imagination. But what if our images came from another source? If we are not finding our own faces in the media of America, where can we find them?

With the advent of social media (youtube.com) we have grown to become our own entertainers (Gabe Bondoc, NigaHiga, Passion, etc...) allowing ourselves to finally see a reflection of our selves legitimized on our own personal screens.

With that I would also take it a step further in the growth of media connecting everything in a global sense. Although I do have my arguments about globalization, in the discussion of the power of images and race in America, I would like to propose the idea that racial identity in America has now included a global factor in the ways in which Asian Americans understand themselves.

If Asian Americans have been dealing with issues of identity and having to find themselves among a society that tends to position them as invisible people, why do we have to wait for America's validation via images?

Although it would be problematic to essentialize and think about Asian and Asian American to be all the same (homogeniety vs. heterogeniety) because as Asian Americans we go through systems and institutions that influence our everyday lives, the idea of 'racial imagining' in the context of global media exchanges can a very interesting topic to understand.

Simply, from what I am saying, which is taken from my last post about images and imagination and the self, if we are not finding images around us to validate our own fantasies about ourselves...maybe we are looking in the wrong place.

Of course we may want to consider the problems and issues that Asian pop culture may have in regards to gender, sexuality, class, and ethnicity...from the Asian American racial perspective, the idea of looking back to our lands of our Asian heritage may be very exciting in contributing to what can be Asian American.

And so I end with the new Tae Yang video and this thought...

...if in the past Asian Americans dealt with hurtful imagines of the Fu Manchu, Long Duck Dong, and Madame Butterfly where it has influenced the lived experiences of Asian Americans in society, what might happen to Asian America if we are given images like Tae Yang, or images from every East, Southeast, and South Asian country? Just a thought that has always boggled my ASIAN AMERICANTIST mind. =]

Next entry topic: Imagination and desire, I want to become like you and I wanna do you soooo bad!: the experience of a queer Asian American man